Have you ever been at a point in your life where you decide I am going to break this habit or make this change. Most of us do this around the first of the year. We make our resolutions to stop smoking, get in better shape, or even make a drastic change in our lives. We start of strong but eventually we stumble forget to work out one day, have a bad craving we give into. Then we get frustrated at ourselves because we feel weak or we feel like we lost. We repeat this cycle over time and time again. But why, why is it so hard to commit to the change. Whether we want to quite a habit or step out of a bad relationship we struggle to make it happen and stick. Through out my time working with clients and even in my own life I found one common denominator. We TRY, but it is more on a surface level that we focus on. We want to quite smoking so we dump the cigarettes, we want to lose weight so we diet. These are what I consider to be symptom solutions. We see an issue in our life that we want to change; it may show up in different areas like emotional eating, or addiction but what they all have in common is that they are symptoms of deeper issue. Studies show that patients that undergo gastric bypass may lose the weight but they still suffer from depression, low self-esteem, or other emotional issues. What this tells us is that unless we do the deeper work healing from the inside out we will not really solve or change the problems in our lives.
So what can we do to reach the deeper issue to make the change stick.
First, being honest with yourself is key. You can not expect to make a change if you’re not honest about what really needs to change. True honesty means to except the root issue for what it is. I had a client that was having issues with drinking they knew they had the issue but they wanted to blame everyone else for making them drink. The honest truth was that they choose to drink to hide the fact they felt they did not deserve happiness. So they were punishing themselves with guilt which lead to the drinking. It was not until they dealt with the root issue did they release the need to drink.
Second, take action. I am not just saying take any action. Albert Einstein once said that doing the taking the same action expecting a different result is the very definition is insanity. So take a different action! The last couple of years I have spent time getting over the fears in my life. I had a fear of needles, heights, and I was extremely afraid of snakes. I wanted to make a change in my life and release fear so I took different action then what I did before. At the time my Husband, a close friend, and I had a radio show, we doing a show on fear so decided to release my fear of needles and had acupuncture performed live on the air. It was because of that different action taken that I was not only able to release my fear of needles but it also gave me the power to release the fear of heights and snakes.
Third, is to invest in yourself. Investing time, money, and energy, in changing your life is important. I remember a story I once heard about a man praying over and over, “Please let me win the lotto, please, please” after a few months the man had not won the lotto. So he prayed and asked “why have you not let me win the lotto?” That’s when he received the answer back “Invest in yourself, buy a lotto ticket first!” We so often expect change to just happen with out any effort or “skin in the game”. These types of changes can happen but they are the surface changes I talked about earlier, they don’t last. It is when you invest in yourself do you have the understanding and gratitude for the change. I see this in my practice many times. I released a meditation course a few years ago I had a friend that wanted to learn to meditate. So I decided that I would let them take the class at no cost. Meanwhile I had students that had invested in their class. A few weeks into the class I checked in with my students to see how they were doing. What I found was that my friend had not done any of the work but the students that invested were doing all the work and were seeing amazing results. One student even told me they were finally able to meditate even with family making noise in the house. When I asked my friend why they had not done any of the work they said they were busy and did not have time. They did not feel they had anything to lose where as the other students felt if I invested in it I better use it.
I am reminded as I write this of the different times in my life that I felt as if nothing seemed to be going my way, I was desperate for change. I would have sleepless nights, a revolving door of relationships, and I was drinking and using. Some of you might be in a similar story. I could not figure out why I was feeling and acting the way I was. Hopefully this post will help to give you some insight into the first steps to making the change you so desperately need in your life. Get honest with yourself, take action, and invest in yourself and you will see the change come and stay.
To learn more on how you can create the change you desire and Break the Cycles in your life. Click the link to request a free 30 min discovery session with Jeremy Crumb.
Jeremy Crumb is a Certified Holistic manifestation life coach through the Holistic Manifestation coach academy. Based in West Palm Beach Florida, he is co- founder of Spirit Empowerment and creator of the Breaking the Cycles Program.